


A cry for help

by heirofegbutt



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-13 08:57:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7970713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heirofegbutt/pseuds/heirofegbutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What Hinata thought had been an exciting college experience with Kageyama thus far, only ended up breaking him to pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: Please do not read this if you are not at all comfortable with this subject, it is very painful and I do not wish to upset anyone. Please be mindful that there will be mentions of rape in the next chapter, so please be cautious while reading.

It was unlike anything he had imagined.

Hinata Shoyou submitted his application for college almost immediately after finals of his last two weeks of high school. Yachi helped him push far beyond the potential he normally thought he didn’t have., and Hinata was grateful that she put aside some of her own free time to help aid him.

Hinata knew, and yet still hoped, that he would get into the college of his dreams. Kageyama told him that he also applied, and Hinata almost clocked him in the face when he jumped up and flung his arms wild. 

_ “That’s so amazing, Kageyama!! What if we room together?” A slight gasp. “No, we  _ are  _ going to room together, and I am going to make sure we are!”  _

_ “Dumbass, you can’t just tell them that we are rooming and expect them to comply. That’s not how it works.” _

_ “You never know, stupid!” _

Those two weeks sped by faster than Hinata thought, and by the time graduation happened and he was handed his diploma, everything was set in stone. Kageyama waited for him by the front gates, as per usual, and smacked Hinata upside the head for being too energetic, and Hinata jumped at him to try and push him off balance, which caused Hinata himself to topple headfirst into the grass, Kageyama cackling behind him.

  
  
  
  
  


Yachi cried so much when she helped Hinata start packing for his trip up north to his college. She babbled on and on about useless things that she would miss about her and Hinata hanging out, which ended up causing Hinata to dump his armload of clothes and sob with her uncontrollably. What a sight that was. Hinata’s mother found them a few hours later, just sitting around a pile of clothes and hugging, and made no effort to bug them further. 

_ “. . .You fell out of the tree behind the gym after practice last year, do you remember? You had to go to the doctor to see if you broke it, but it was actually a sprain.” _

_ “And Kageyama made sure to never let me forget how ‘stupid and dumb I was, dumbass!!’” A high pitched giggle was heard and soon accompanied by even louder laughter, with a few snorts occasionally. _

_ “. . .All those times you got hit in the face with the ball during practice, I’m surprised you don’t actually have brain damage yet.” _

_ “Hey!” _

_ “It was painful to watch, honestly, Hinata, I’m worried how you will survive college. I heard college volleyball teams are way more brutal than high school ones!!”  _

_ “If I survived this long with Kageyama, and even Tsukishima, then I’ll have no worry being okay! Trust me, Yachi, I am and will be okay.” _

  
  
  
  


The train was taking forever and a day to get there, and Hinata was a bundle of nerves and excitement all in one. Kageyama gave up trying to calm him down in favor of sitting on a bench to wait with their belongings. Hinata bounced around the bench eagerly, his arms flailing as he spoke nonstop about the wonders they would witness when they get there. He finally sat down beside Kageyama and crossed his legs under him, going off on a long winded rant about what the campus looked like (long, intricate details that Kageyama wondered how in the seven hells had Hinata remembered such vivid details??), what they should be expecting with the dorms, what the volleyball team is like, everyone in general, how safe the campus is. 

“And it’s pretty safe, which is surprising, because a lot of the other colleges I looked at said the same thing but there were a lot of bad things that happened.” Hinata said, slumping back against his seat. Kageyama quirked a brow.

“So you’re contradicting yourself, then.”

“No, I’m not! I just… I just think this is a good choice among the others I looked at. Stupid.” Hinata stuck his tongue out at Kageyama, which in return got him a punch on the shoulder.

The train pulled up a little after 5, which is early since they were supposed to board at least by 7. Hinata fist pumped the air and hurriedly grabbed his suitcases, Kageyama begrudgingly following behind, and they entered the train.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Hinata dumped his suitcase next to his bed and threw himself on it, groaning loudly into the pillow that was now trying to suffocate him. Kageyama closed the door behind him and did the same, except he sat down. A sigh was heard coming from Kageyama’s mouth and Hinata turned his head to look at the other, seeing his faltering expression.

“What’s wrong?”

“...”

“Kageyama, the heck? Tell me what’s wrong and stop looking at me with that scary face!”

“I wanted that bed.”

“Uwah! You’re so stupid, this is my bed.” Hinata made his point by rightfully burrowing himself under the covers until only the top his head poked out. Kageyama scoffed and threw a pillow at him, which Hinata also claimed as his until Kageyama got up from his bed and tackled him.

“Get off, get off you gigantic tool!” Hinata shrieked, kicking his legs out to try and kick Kageyama off him,  _ anything  _ that would get him to move. The one in question just punched Hinata’s thigh and moved off, lifting up his suitcase to get started on his half of the room. Hinata threw off the covers to follow suit.

“Do you think you’ll make friends here?” A startled noise came from Kageyama and then a nasty look was shot at him. “What!? I’m just saying! I know we’re the only ones to go here, that’s for sure, unless some of our friends from Karasuno goes here and they never told us. But yeah, I hope we do. Or I do, maybe. Being stuck with you for another four years is going to suck alone. Kidding, I’m kidding!!” Hinata yelped, getting shoved headfirst into the wall. 

“Don’t count your chickens before they hatch. . . Yachi told me that.” Kageyama admitted, flushing a light pink. Hinata laughed.

  
  
  
  


* * *

 

Several months passed and Hinata’s college life was simply amazing. He did do his work, with help from Yachi calling him once every two nights to make sure he was. She even made a deal with him, if he finished his work at least by the end of the week, then he could go to one of those infamous college parties Hinata always heard about. He was ecstatic. He also made Kageyama tag along even though he claimed to be busy, which he never was and both he and Hinata knew that for a fact.

It was at such a party that Hinata didn’t feel all like himself, but he couldn’t place a finger on what it could be. Maybe he was sick from drinking too much, but he hardly had anything! The most he drank was water, Kageyama practically forcing him to drink it when he got drunk first thing when they arrived. Hinata was indeed a lightweight. Maybe it was all the flashing lights around him, combined with blurs of people surrounding him. 

Ugh. This was hell.

And Hinata was all by himself, since Kageyama had to leave because he got an urgent call from his mom. Great, this was just great. Hinata made his way to the back of the apartment he was in, to get away from all the people, drinks, loud music and lights. He knew the bedrooms would probably be taken, but he tried for one anyway and successfully entered one without walking in one people having sex. He’s done that before on accident and 10/10 would not do it again.

  
The cool bed sheets beneath him calmed him down and Hinata felt his eyelids droop, his brain turning off just before it could register the bedroom door opening again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Mentions of rape, implied rape
> 
> Please do not continue to read if you feel uncomfortable with the subject.

Hands were touching him, that much Hinata knew. But he couldn’t - well,  _ didn’t  _ have the strength to open his eyes. Maybe he did have a lot to drink, and the water Kageyama made him have hadn’t been enough.

But these hands were unrelenting, touching everywhere on him that made Hinata want to cry out, to scream at them to get away from him, but his tongue felt heavy inside his mouth and his throat closed up. Hands roamed up his chest, pushing up Hinata’s shirt as they went, and then went to push down his pants, his boxers, until he knew he wasn’t wearing anything on his bottom half. 

Had he been drugged? Hinata could have frowned at that thought, if his mouth worked properly. Kageyama kept a keen eye on Hinata the whole evening up until he left, making his drinks for him so nothing like that would happen. But even then, he didn’t have a drink at all after Kageyama left. So perhaps, the person who was touching him right now drugged him in his half asleep state? Hinata never wanted to cry so badly in his entire life.   
  


The hands spread his legs apart forcefully, as if they knew Hinata was trying to put up as much a fight as he could. He tried opening his eyes, tried so  _ damn bad,  _ until he could see at last, even if it was through mere slits. The person above him was blurry, too blurry, like Hinata wasn’t allowed to see them, to pinpoint who exactly this was so he could scream and cry out for help, or to even know the features of this person so he could tell someone about it, about what was happening that very second.

Hinata whimpered, slowly turning his head to the side, biting down on his bottom lip harshly. Ah, there it was. The final push and Hinata broke. The tears he had been holding back finally fell, Hinata knowing showing such signs of weakness only fueled this person to continue through with this horrid act. He wanted Kageyama here, he wanted him here so bad so he could witness this and make this guy pay, because he  _ knows  _ this person is a male, he  _ knew. _

Hinata mustered up all the strength he had, which wasn’t much at all, and pressed both palms against the guy's chest, trying to push him away. All he got in return was even more brutal, more painful than it was before. His hands were held tight in the guy’s strong grip as he relentlessly thrust into him, and Hinata knew that everything he had worked so hard for up to this moment was gone. Gone within the second this person touched him.

It seemed like forever, that this continued on and on and would never stop, until it did. The person pushed himself from the bed and walked out the door, Hinata hearing the faint ‘click’ of the door shutting. Hinata trembled violently, slowly curling up into as small of a ball he could. Fluids leaked out of him, ran down his thighs and stomach and onto the sheets beneath him. He felt disgusting. He wanted to shower and scrub his skin raw until nothing was left, no trace that that had even happened. He never wanted anything to be a dream so badly, a nightmare of real life situations that he thought he would never be a part of. 

He waited, and waited, and waited, until he knew it was safe and that he could move again. Hinata slowly sat up, his stomach twisting, his eyes briefly glancing over the marks on his body that would turn into deep and ugly purple bruises come next morning. Something splashed onto his bare thigh, and Hinata jolted from shock at his own tears. He slowly, slowly, pulled his pants back up securely around his waist, finding that his phone was not in his pocket as it had been prior to the recent event. Hinata’s heart jumped in his throat as he scrambled about the room, searching everywhere for his phone until he found it by the door, having been thrown by the guy. 

Hinata turned on his phone and was assaulted by many messages coming from both his mom, Kenma, and Kageyama.

_ “Make sure to stop by this weekend and visit! It’s your great grandmothers birthday on saturday, and we’re all going out for dinner. Xoxo”  _ **_Birth giver @ 7:30_ **

_ “I found this new game recently, and I wanted to know if you wanted to come over and play it with me when you get the chance.”  _ **_Kenmaaaaaa @ 8:00_ **

_ “My mom only called me to tell me that my cat fell off the roof today and had to go to the vet.”  _ **_Bakageyama @ 8:05_ **

_ “I went back to the dorm because I forgot I had a test tomorrow that I really can’t afford to miss. Text me when you are on your way back.”  _ **_Bakageyama @ 8:15_ **

_ “Stupid, why haven’t you texted me? At least I give you the decency with replying within a few minutes, dumbass.”  _ **_Bakageyama @ 8:37_ **

_ “If you don't text me back in the next hour, I’m going back to the party to come and get you. You better not be getting drunk off your ass now that I’m not there.”  _ **_Bakageyama @ 8:50_ **

_ “Seriously, answer me.”  _ **_Bakageyama @ 9:10_ **

_ “Kageyama’s messaging me, asking me if you are okay? You’re probably asleep, since you usually fall asleep during cramming sessions anyway. Message him when you wake up.”  _ **_Kenmaaaaaa @ 9:15_ **

Hinata furrowed his brow, feeling another bout of tears wash over him as he read the messages. He answered back quickly, assuring both Kenma and Kageyama that he fell asleep and was fine, and to Kageyama that he was heading back soon. He sent an affirmative to his mother before locking his phone, dropping to his knees by the door. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out every noise that hit him, wrapping his arms around his waist as if to protect him from what already had happened. 

Every time he heard footsteps outside the door, stomping down the hallway or even stopping in front of the door he was behind only to turn around and go back down the hallway, made Hinata fear more and more for himself. He scrambled back until he hit the bed and pulled his legs up to his chest, burying his face in his arms, the sounds of his breathing reaching his ears. It sounded like he was drowning, drowning in his own heavy breathing that he could not control. 

He wishes none of this happened. That this had all been a dream and Kageyama would burst through the door and tell him to  _ wake up, you’re late for class, dumbass  _ and lead him into a life that had once been happy.

But Hinata couldn’t even remember a time where he  _ was _ happy, let alone think straight ever since the person left him alone in the dark room. His thoughts echoed in his head and it hurt so much, so much that Hinata buried his fingers into his soft, red locks and  _ yanked _ , yanked so hard he pulled a chunk of hair out. 

  
He didn’t want to cry again, even though the guy was probably long gone. But showing weakness wasn’t what Hinata was taught, and so he wouldn’t show it, even if it hurt him to the core. He got up, his knees shakingly under him, and made his way out of the room, out of where he knew his happy life surely ended with a snap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't honestly know where things are going to end up in future chapters but thanks for sticking with me so far!

It’s late when Hinata stumbled into his dorm room and was ultimately greeted in darkness. He hoped that Kageyama would still be awake, so he could just crumble under his facade and tell him everything that happened, but Hinata knew he wouldn't be able to. The events that happened made Hinata shut down, to the point where he had it in his mind that if he were to tell  _ anyone _ about it, that all they would do is laugh at him. Hinata was terrified, simple as that. Terrified of the fact that the person is going to their school, is around campus, goes to the same parties Hinata always goes to (the same few people host it every time). 

Hinata didn’t know if he could handle going to class anymore now.

He must have been making a lot of noise, Hinata figured, when movement was heard from Kageyama’s side of the room and a lamp flickered on. Hinata winced and shielded his eyes, still more or less drugged. He collapsed on Kageyama’s bed, the latter raising an eyebrow in question, mouth opening to ask something but promptly shut it. Hinata let go of his fears for just this brief second and wound his arms around Kageyama’s waist, burying his face into the other’s neck, and started crying. Ugly sobs were heard and snot dribbled from Hinata’s nose, but Kageyama only hugged him back in return, silently sushing him, rocking him, not saying a word.

It felt like hours that he cried, but eventually the tears subsided and Hinata gained control over his breathing again. Kageyama stayed quiet through all of that, not wanting to upset Hinata more, because even if he didn’t know exactly what  _ happened, _ he still knew Hinata. Kageyama shifted under Hinata, and a hand crept into soft red locks, carding through it slowly. 

“You all right?” Kageyama asked, glancing down at the smaller male, noticing how he snuggled even more closer than before.

“Mhm…”

“Did you want to talk about it?” Hinata shook his head. “Okay, well I’m here if you ever want to speak. . . Dumbass.”

Hinata fought back a grin that formed on his lips but lost. He nodded once, trailing patterns across Kageyama’s back. “Thank you,” he whispered hoarsely.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Going back to class the next day was unsurprisingly difficult, considering what happened. Hinata feared everything that went on around him. He flinched every time someone brushed against him, or tried to talk to him, or even when his professors called on him. Hinata didn’t like feeling this way; he knew he was brought up to be happy even in the most dire of situations, to always smile and be polite. But it felt like his smile got ripped away from him, his happiness shredded. It wasn’t until someone, a friend, noticed Hinata’s change in behavior and confronted him about it in the hallway after class ended for the day. 

It ended with Hinata shrieking at his friend to leave him alone and bolting to the nearest bathroom. By the time he slammed the door open and shut it, he was shaking from head to toe. He slid to the floor, eyes shut tightly.

“Why, why, why,  _ why, why…”  _ He continuously repeated, rubbing his eyes to try and stop the tears that threatened to spill. Why couldn’t he just tell someone what happened, why was he so afraid? The guy probably didn’t even know him, after all, it was pitch black in the room!  _ Hinata  _ didn’t even know what the guy looked like! But even so, the guy must have known his whereabouts to even follow after him, if that’s what happened. So it had been premeditated. It had to have been. 

Hinata choked out a sob.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


The days following after the party led Hinata into a downward spiral of depression and anxiety. He didn’t feel safe alone at any point during the day, and made sure to show Kageyama exactly that. Wherever Kageyama went, even if it was to the bathroom or to get food or to just step outside, Hinata followed. It got to the point where Kageyama stopped him in the middle of a thursday, pulling him along until they were hiding behind a vending machine.

“Hinata, what is up with you? You’ve been following me around almost every single hour, of  _ every single day,  _ acting all timid and skittering about,” Kageyama frowned, crossing his arms. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

A choked whine flew from Hinata’s mouth and he shook his head. “I- I can’t!”

“Why can’t you?” Kageyama sighed heavily, pressing a hand to the wall to support him as he leaned all his weight onto his right foot.

“I can’t, Kageyama, I can’t I can’t I c _ an’t-”  _

“Okay, okay, I’m… I’m sorry, forget it.” Kageyama’s eyes widened in horror at the way Hinata reacted toward his persistent questions. But Hinata was still shaking his head and grabbing at his hair, sinking down to his knees.

“You don’t understand, Kageyama, you just  _ don’t,  _ how can anyone understand what-” Hinata cut off shortly, shoulders trembling. “. . .I want to tell someone, god, do I want to. But I just can’t. It’s so hard for me to even think about it and every time I do, I just feel sick to my stomach and want to scratch my skin off until there’s nothing left…”

As Hinata continued on, rambling on about how Kageyama wouldn’t understand without exactly saying what the problem was, it was then that something snapped inside Kageyama and it’s also what effortlessly made him stop breathing for a few seconds. Hinata didn’t have to explain thoroughly for him to know what the problem was, and Kageyama could punch himself in the face for not realizing it sooner (no one could guess what had happened right off the bat, unless they themselves went through the same experience).

Kageyama dropped to his knees before Hinata and pulled him into a tight hug, Hinata protesting and trying to shove him away. Kageyama wouldn’t let him. He buried his face in red tufts of hair until suffocating in it seemed like a valid option. Hinata slumped against Kageyama and his breathing calmed just a tad, his fingers gripping onto Kageyama’s shirt like a lifeline.

“You didn’t even tell me what exactly happened, but I still have a faint idea. Hinata, fuck, why didn’t you say anything sooner?” Kageyama looked down at Hinata, effectively making the other pull back too. It only caused Hinata’s face to scrunch up and his eyes to start watering for what felt like the umpteenth time that day. 

“I-I was afraid, bakageyama! I was afraid that… That-” Hinata cried out and threw himself at Kageyama, face going to burrow into Kageyama’s shirt, soaking it with tears. “I couldn’t tell anyone, no one would understand, no one would…”

“Shit, sorry, sorry,” Kageyama cursed mostly at himself, for being stupid and airheaded to not think before he spoke. “I’m sorry. But I’m here now, Hinata, you know this. I won’t let anyone, any _ one _ , touch you again. Or I swear I’ll kill them.” He rubbed Hinata’s back, slow, small circles, and sat with him there until the breeze became cooler and the sun started to set behind the clouds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/kudos are greatly appreciated <3 Thanks for all the comments from the previous chapters!!


End file.
